Mother’s Day: Aborting an American Dream

Yesterday, purely by coincidence, I got to transferring my blog post series: Did God Order an Abortion?

On this Mother’s Day morning, I woke up to an unexpected response from an old friend from high school.  This is what she said:

“Hey Dalas, whats up. I just wanted to let you know that I have had two abortions and one miscarriage in my life. I am a Christian and only God and I know what I have been through. But I can’t be friends with you, if you are going to judge others. Only God has that right. Let me know.”

Now, if you have read my series or if you came from that post to this one, what you will note is that I am not writing against women who have undergone abortions.  I am writing against the bloggers of the “Christian Left” (men ironically) who break the 2nd commandment in a horrifyingly blatant way, by taking God’s name and using it to live however they please, whether it is actually pleasing to God or not.  In the process they confuse well-meaning Christians and lead God’s sheep far astray.  This is who I judge.  I judge those who would claim to teach truth whilst spreading evil in the public square.

You may have come here from another post on my blog about abortion (as I will be linking to this post regularly from here on out), and I might have spoken quite openly and forcefully against  this particular sin.  I will not shy away from the truth; abortion is the taking of a human life.  It is wrong, and it is never something God would command or commend.  Abortion is murder  but (and this is important) not every mother who has had an abortion is a murderer.  This is something that I want everyone to understand, but especially you, the dear mother who has suffered through abortions and has found your way to my humble blog.  Yes, in the sense that all of us are guilty of breaking the 5th commandment, we are all murderers.  But I do not go around calling everyone a murderer and neither will I lightly apply that label in this instance.

I realize, though I have never been in your shoes, that there are subtleties and nuances to this massacre of innocents.  There are complexities that most of us will never understand.  All of us have been lied to by the sweet whisperings of feminism, and we have all been affected in our own ways.  We all have mistakes to repent of and sins to confess.  Our society has legalized and normalized killing our children, and that is wrong.  Many women have been convinced that the child they agreed to dispose of was no child at all.  Others have been told that this was in the best interests of their baby.  Some have been abused, threatened and tortured into the decision by the very people who should have been encouraging and supporting them in their vocation of mother.  Abortion is a tragedy for everyone involved, and especially for the mothers whose bodies, hearts and souls bear those scars.

I do not judge you dear mother.  For you are a mother.  The abortion crazed culture would tell you that you are not.  In their eyes you go into the abortion clinic pregnant and come out unpregnant.  But your conscious cries out otherwise; this is not the pain or loss felt by someone who is simply not pregnant.  This pain is the pain of a mother who has suffered the death of her child.  The pro-abortion movement would seek to steal this from you.  Disguised as compassion, the abortion industry is anything but.  For in their very definition of life they must disregard the grief of every mother who has lost an unborn child.  After all, it isn’t really a baby, so you shouldn’t really grieve.  Motherhood is a blessed and esteemed vocation.  But daily… by the thousands… Planned Parenthood and abortion clinics around the country steal that once classic American dream from women and girls.

I write this post not for those women who are righteously convinced of their “rights” and stand firmly rooted in their “choice” to do as they wish with their unborn children.  I write this post for you who have been hurt by my words or by the words of the pro-life movement.  I write for you who have been crushed and convicted of participating in the killing of a precious life that God gave to you to carry, and who feel that burden every time your pro-life friends speak out.  I write this for the hurting, for those whose dream was stolen.  I write this to say… God can restore to you the dream, He can return to you all the years that the locust has eaten.  Take heart.  God is mercy.  You are forgiven.

Please know, from the bottom of my heart, that on this day I see you not as a murderer, but just as much a mother as myself.  I hope that God would pour His rich blessing out on you this Mother’s Day and continue that healing work, reconciling not only you with Christ, but also you with your dear children.

This was my response to the friend who wrote me earlier today; she thanked me for it and gave me permission to share it with all of you.  I pray that on this Mother’s Day Christ brings to her and to all of my dear sisters comfort and healing…

First of all I’m so incredibly sorry for your losses. I can’t imagine the heartbreak of losing a child. If I gave you the impression that I’m judging you (or anyone) who’s had an abortion I apologize for that, because that was never my intention. I hope we can remain friends. Let me explain my position a little more clearly.

I am wholeheartedly against abortion. I will be upfront about that. But honestly? I do not judge, hate or even blame the women who have them. Sure, sometimes there are women who deserve such criticisms, but I don’t know any personally and it will be for God to judge their hearts.

I wonder if it was the blog post that I posted yesterday that upset you? Did you read through the posts? I was speaking against another blogger who would perpetuate the lie that abortion does not hurt women, who would rather than offer the forgiving love of Christ to a woman who is suffering from abortion, would cover up their wounds with “its ok”.

Deep down we know it’s not ok, and masking the hurt and the guilt and the pain that is left after an abortion helps no one. That is who I am against, that part of our society who would take your pain and say there is no good reason for it. The people who would dismiss your guilt rather than allow you to be forgiven of it.

I am not judging you, but I am judging the ideology that would lie to you, take advantage of you and refuse to offer you true healing. I am a Christian, and my aim is not to judge you but to point you to Christ. To point you to Christ who says that what you did by allowing someone to take the life of your two unborn children was wrong. But that is not all. He also says this:

“I forgive you. And I am holding your sweet babies in my arms and caring for them until we can all be together again. I forgive you, because my blood on the cross covers this too and it has made you as white as snow. Your children forgive you, they love you, they pray for you. My child, you are forgiven. Go in peace and sin no more.”

This is real comfort, not that people will look the other way and not condemn you for bad choices and wrongdoing, but that Christ has already been condemned on your behalf for anything and everything you have ever done wrong. I do not judge you because there is nothing left for me to judge. Your sins have been washed away and you are as white as snow.

I pray that you can hold on to this real comfort. Have a blessed Mother’s Day.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I have had so many wonderful Mommy moments this week.  Yesterday Jake took Evie to the park and as she was holding his hand and walking away she strained her neck to turn around and say “I love you!”  It melted my heart… not to mention the most wonderful bedtime routine ever last night.  We read a book, said prayers, sang hymns and she just fell right asleep – it was awesome!  Took less than twenty minutes. WOW – thank you baby girl!  It may or may not have had something to do with the fact that she didn’t take her nap earlier :)

Jake also got to feel Baby kicking lots.  For a whole minute Baby was high fiving Daddy’s hand.  It’s always so sweet when they are able to interact a little.  With a rambunctious toddler we don’t get to spend as much time focusing on the Baby as we did with Evangeline.  Hopefully, as we prepare for birth in the next couple of months, we will be able to focus a little more on the coming little one.

I can already tell that this child’s temperament is totally different than our first.  Not only am I carrying very differently (low instead of high), but the movements are so different!  Evangeline used to move all the time, without any sort of rhyme or reason that I can discern.  She was just everywhere the entire pregnancy.  This one?  Nope!  He was on the same side of my womb, without defecting once for the first several months of the pregnancy.  It hasn’t been until he’s started moving into a head-down position that I finally started feeling movement in other places than my lower-right side!

Not only that, but there aren’t regular movements normally… like “just for fun” sort of moving.  Almost always when I feel movement it’s pushing and adjusting, like Baby’s trying to find more room or get comfortable.  If you poke and prod enough he’ll move too, but other than that not too much.  When I was telling Jake this he (very proudly) announced: “It is a male child!  Men only move when they absolutely have to.”  He’s so funny.  Although, I think there may be some truth to his words.

With the differences in how I am carrying and my “mommy gut” I’m starting to suspect this baby is a boy.  When I was pregnant with Evangeline I didn’t have any idea on gender until the last few months, and then I was highly suspicious she was a girl.  It’s been the same this time around, I had no idea until the last couple of weeks and my feeling is more and more that this is a boy.  I suppose we shall see!

This has been a great Mother’s Day week and I pray for many many more.  I hope your day is just as fabulous!


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